Broken

Have you ever done something that you deeply regreted later? We all have, right? I had one of those experiences this past week.
There is this movie that has been out for years, and lots of people have referred to it since it's release date. This last week, I had the opportunity to borrow this movie from a friend. However, before watching the movie, I was told by other's that it was a crude. While they may not have seemed like warnings at the time, I look back on that and recognize that they were flashing red lights. As I started the watching the movie with my best friend, I felt these promptings telling me that it wasn't worth it-- that the movie was not worth watching and that I'd be better off stopping it before it even started. I pushed these promptings away. I regret that deeply. While the movie wasn't terribly evil, there was still enough material in it to make it innapropriate, and to drive the Spirit away. Upon finishing the movie, I felt empty. The next few days that followed contained that same empty feeling. The Spirit of God was not as close to me as it had previously been.
As I have been working on repenting, I have have come to gain a greater testimony of the Holy Ghost and how powerful and important it really is in our lives. Those days that felt empty, I will never gain back. However, I have devoted myself to do all that I can to make sure I never go through that experience again. I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost. It helps me gain joy in my life and stay close to the gospel so that I can recieve eternal blessings. Through this, I have also gained a greater testimony of the Atonement, and understand it in a whole new light.
To help take a stand for my decision to get my life on a better track, myself and the girls that live in my building broke the majority of my CD's today. I don't own an iPod, or anything of the sort, so my music supply is in CD's. While my CD's contained wonderful songs, many had at least one song that was innapropriate. In order to get rid of that one song, I would have to destroy the whole CD. It was worth it. While my collection of CD's is now incredibly small, I feel more joy in my life. As a dancer, it is hard to imagine not having a good stock of music on hand to dance to, but I know that what I did was for the better and that I will be able to move through this with peace of mind.
I love the gospel with all my heart, and I never want to do anything again that takes the Spirit of the Lord away from me. I know that God the Father lives, as well as the Son, Jesus Christ. I know that they love each and every one of us and that they want us to return to live with them. Be strong, and remember-- "God did not send us here to fail."